I've been crazy about this one guy for over a year now
Dear Diana,
I've been crazy about this one guy for over a year now. He loves me a lot and has said that he wants to marry me. We also belong to the same caste. I've introduced him to my circle of close friends (those I've grown up with and know and love me better than everyone else) and that's where the problem began.
They have met him quite a few times and while they were cool with him initially, they now feel that he is a bad influence on me (I've started drinking quite frequently after we started dating) and that he's not at all serious about me.
Apparently, he said something horrible when he was drunk and it has stuck in their memory. I know he's a nice guy and that he will keep me happy. But how do I convince them? Their approval means a lot to me. Amost as much as my parents'. By the way, I haven't told my parents about him!
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
I understand this must be exceptionally difficult for you given that you have attached so much importance to your friends' accpetance of your beau (in your own words: almost as much as your parents). And if they feel this way about him, do you think that your parents (once they get to know him a little better) would feel any different? Understandably, picking up vices from your significant other is never a good sign.
And when he can't hold his tongue when in company and under the influence, it doesn't reflect too well on him. However, the choice is yours to make and no one can make it for you. Whatever you choose, you will have to live with that choice -- right or wrong. If you are convinced that he is "the one", follow your heart. You might feel like you're betraying them but if they really are your friends, they'll come around. But be warned, if they are equally convinced he's wrong for you, they will keep away.
In love with my best friend...
Dear Diana,
I think I am in love with my best friend. But she has already said several times (when teased with my name) that she sees me as her brother. But I don't see her as a 'moohboli' sis. How to tell her this?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
You ought to tell her in no uncertain terms that you are in love with her and cannot think of her in a brotherly way. That you can't help feeling this way and you don't think you'll stop feeling this way. That you said what you had to and are expecting an honest, unbiased answer in return.
I feel his ex might 'trap' him!
Dear Diana,
We have been married six months and have gotten to know each other only after the wedding. It was a match arranged by our parents and we hardly got the time to know each other well before we tied the knot. I found him to be a decent guy, understanding and kind, and a great lover in bed (he understands what I want sexually and pleasures me in ways I never knew existed). But he has a past (an ex he has told me about and who keeps calling even though he has told her that it has ended over and over again). I am afraid she might try something to "trap" him.
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Why don't you confront his ex and tell her that you will not stand by quietly and even go to the extent of changing your husband's number and that you will fight her tooth and nail for your man. His honesty about his past has contributed the lack of insecurity between you two. He seems to have kept his past where it belongs and has justifiably and wisely, moved on with his life married to you.
Cheating you should be far from his mind but one can never say under the correct circumstances. If you have a word with her, it might actually make a difference. I really feel that you should take the fight to her and tell her to back off, or else...
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